28 July 2008

emo | ome

WAZZAH!!!

finally! an update.after i don't know how long..(lazy to count)

to be emo or not.your choice..

emo:

starting to feel sick of the way u treat me, i guess maybe it's becoming too much for me to take..it so happened that i was there for u when u needed someone to msg because someone else wouldn't reply or u had to wait really long for that person to reply.i was always there for u.i was always there to help u when u needed help here and there.and we hung out together quite alot.but slowly, i guess u started to get bored or smth..when u ask for help now, i'll still do my best to help u.but even a simple request like meeting u or going back with u, u have to think abt it.is that too much to ask? after all the help i offered.now friends can't even go back together huh..? it's like we're slowly drifting apart and all i wanted was to have a good friend.someone i could share my day with, someone to keep me company if need be.but it seems like u're never there when i need someone.i don't know man..sometimes i wonder if u're just using me to help u get what u want.it feels like u only look for me when u need help with smth, other than that u try to stay away from me as much as possible.sometimes i wonder if i'm just a substitute.well, it sure seems like it.maybe somethings i say here will hurt u.but if i don't say them, i would be the one hurting.and that feeling sucks.maybe u never realised what u're doing to me, maybe u don't know.it feels like u're treating me like how that "someone" treated u, not replying u, not wanting to meet u and all that.except that for me, i got no one to talk to this abt.i guess u just don't know..or maybe i'm just thinking too much.i don't know...u tell me..

ome:

beach soccer was great and fun as well.but we didn't play very well.started really shaky at the beginning, built up as we played more but i guess we just didn't play together long enough..

hook'd was actually quite successful and it was fun too.beach soccer, bossa ball, band competition, free coke (although it was coke zero, tastes kinda bad), beach babes, the sun, the sand and the sea..

hmm, what have i been doing the past few weeks? oh ya...after hook'd i went home to get the car.drove to dhoby for the first time with denan, darren, kenneth and vincent.went to catch a midnight movie, hellboy 2.

the following week, drove to dhoby again and i parked at exactly the same lot i parked the week before in plaza singapura.can't rmb the lot number though..but it was on the 4th floor.went to catch a midnight movie again.this time with denan, desiree, fatin, zaid and jianyao.we watched the dark knight.man, i gotta say this..one of the best movies ever..

drove to simpang for supper on one of the days last week with the usual company including some others.had a gd laugh with kenneth's story-telling session..

was looking forward to this saturday for denan's birthday celebration.but he didn't manage to book a chalet or a bbq pit..hahaha.dude, not everything can be done last min u know? it doesn't always work out that way..hahaha.btw, if any of u didn't know..denan is my best buddy.he's like my brother from a different mother.maybe i'll be the first to wish him an advanced happy 19th birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUNDEK! you're getting old..but we're brothers for life man.rmb, i always got your back.take care yo...
p.s. ratna, take good care of him will u? hahah(:

alright, i guess i'll end here.maybe i'll return after a week or 2..or maybe tmr.hahah

i love the 'sun'.i miss the way she calls me.
thursday, please come quickly.if it's the third time, it ought to mean smth.and i've decided.the next time i see u by coincidence, i'm gonna go up to u and say whatever i gotta say.

recorded at 9:18 PM

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11 July 2008

another fucked up friday

WAZZAH!

it's another fucked up friday.looking forward to the beach soccer tournament at sentosa tmr though.hope we can play properly and win tmr and may the days get better..

i seriously don't understand why.u used to reply all the time and we could msg like non-stop.damn, i miss those days..now it seems like u don't even bother to reply sometimes.always giving the same reason.when u needed someone i was always there for u, but when i just need someone to talk to, u're nowhere to be found.it feels as though u're just using me.when u need someone to be there for u, u look for me.but other than that u can't even be bothered about me.everytime i receive your msg, no matter how fucking busy i am i would always reply u first before going back to whatever i was doing.i always say that soccer is my life and i can even reply u while playing soccer.i'm always checking my phone, wondering if u replied even though i know my phone didn't ring.all i ask for is that u reply my msg.even if its after a few hours or damn long, at least reply my msg? is that too much to ask? feeling so unappreciated.always treat people so nicely but its not even appreciated.sometimes i wonder why i still do this.when i need someone to talk to, i always think that i could go to you, but you never seem to be there..ohh well, i guess i'll never understand what's going through your mind.

recorded at 8:33 PM

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08 July 2008

here without you

WAZZAH!

damn long nvr update because there's nth to update..my life is as boring as usual and tests are coming.i'll most probably fail em all.

here we go again..

it's not helping, just making it worse.

iknowiliedtouallthiswhile
andididn'tdaretotellyou
butiguessiwasjustafraid
cosiwasafraidoflosingyou

recorded at 6:49 PM

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02 July 2008

fucking spoiler

WAZZAH!!!

went for BE AGM today.but before that something happened that seriously pissed me off.fucking spoiler ah sia.my mood was actually quite good before that.then suddenly kenna scolded for drinking in club.i sit there quietly reading newspaper suddenly kenna scolded sia.nvr find trouble or what, just sit there quietly only.its not like u don't do it yourself.nxt time u drink water from water bottle also cannot ah.and it's not like i fucking run around the club splashing lemon tea on the floor like some fucking retard."lalala~! i'm splashing lemon tea on the floor! scold me! scold me!" and i nvr fucking spill anything.even if i spilled it, i would clean it up myself. i won't fucking ask u to lick it off the table or whatever..so chill out.don't have to vent your anger on me and the other innocent fellas.i know i do that sometimes, but it wasn't me today so i got the right to be pissed.from happy mood became damn sian after that..thanks ah.i'm feeling emo all over again.i respect u as my friend that's why i say sorry.if not i fuck u up already ah sia..always get pissed when emo ppl affect your mood.u also do that what..

i guess it might just remain this way for the rest of my life..

hopefully, denan's birthday party chalet would be one hell of a party..can't wait.hahah

hopefully, she'll say yes to going..

recorded at 9:28 PM

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01 July 2008

mixed feelings

WAZZAH!!!

played soccer with asyiq, khalis, zaki and alvin today.after so long, finally get to play soccer again.play a while only tired already.hahaha.smoke too much..

shisha with denan, amron, farhan, fatin, zaid, miswan, toh and puppy, huixian and psychotic hamster(: yesterday..hahaha.shiok

btw, i have decided.i'm not gonna quit for u or anyone else, maybe only for myself in the future.as the saying goes, "once a smoker, always a smoker".that's oliver for u..i know exactly what u're doing, but i'm just keeping quiet.cause i don't really care anymore.i'm seriously feeling damn lousy now.but i don't wanna emo over this stupid thing anymore.sick and tired..and i so agree with what farhan says.damn, what's the use of having friends that can't be bothered to reply u, won't answer your call or don't even wanna meet u? just rmb, if u ever need me, i'll be there for u.but u don't have to be there for me, cause it doesn't matter(:

mixed feelings, mixed fruits, mixed...what else is mixed?

recorded at 9:51 PM

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